Swoleby- He snorts Creatine

Meet Swoleby. He used to say "hug me." Now he says "SPOT ME, BRO." This is a 3D printed fever dream of a Furby who discovered pre-workout, shredded dignity, and never looked back. He is: Small Fuzzy. Absolutely stacked. Swoleby doesn't sleep. He just stares into the mirror and mutters "Let the gains take me." Yes, those are real arms. Arms sculpted like the very gods chiselled them with creatine. They bear an uncanny resemblance to the HR manager from the Coldplay Affair - you know the one. Kiss cam. 4K. Public resignation. Swoleby doesn't talk about it. But he knows. Features include: Bulging biceps that flex when you're not looking A tiny voice box that's been replaced with the sound of a protein shaker and a grunt Dead eyes full of trauma and reps The faint smell of Monster Energy and poor choices Perfect for: Gym rats Burnt-out tech bros Your mate who swears by bulking season but hasn't seen a vegetable since 2018 People who want a cursed desk companion with veins Swoleby may arrive unboxed, because he broke the packaging on the way out with his Please do not challenge him to arm wrestling. You will lose. The house might lose. Swoleby doesn't ask for love. He asks for one more set! 💪🏻💪🏻